What's the best thing you've lost?

The best "thing" I have "lost"
is my cat. Puma Pyjamas Beach-under-water. His name is. Due to his looks.
Pyjamas for short.
Coz his fur is redbrown/white stripey.(in waveshapes,like rippled sand).
And seemed loose and comfy on his thin, long baby body.
He was born in my attick flat. In my cupboard. 22.11.2003.
(One year later, excact same date, my daughter was born).

He was different from the 4 others. (or 5, one died the 3.day).
When I walked into the room, as they were drinking mother´s milk, he´d look up at me and miaow non stop until I picked him up. He´d wobble his way over to me to come fall asleep in my hands. He melted my heart.
I was gonna give all the kittens away. But I had to keep him.

He was so loving. His mom had another litter. So now I had mother, young son and 5 more baby kittens jumping about. Pyjamas would play with the little ones, lie on a chair and lazily sway his tail, and they´d jump and catch it...so amazingly cute...
His mama taught him to treat them with care. It was a gift to get to watch them.

When my daughter and I came from the hospital, new born, he was there. Came to greet her so extremely carefully. When I breastfed her in bed, he´d come lie next to us. Put one paw on her head and one paw on my shoulder, purring us to sleep...

Pyjamas. My heart still aches with longing. You are family to me. Not human.
But that makes you no less family. It is a year since you disappeared. Chased away by the neighbourhood cats. I´ve come and found you so many times before, as you got yourself locked up, in garages and renovated houses, scared by sounds and too good at hiding... I´ve come to save you so many times. Carrying you home all weak, like a child, your paws around my neck, your head exhausted on my chest.
Washing you, feeding you back to strength...
And yet this last time I could not find you. I did call, I did search. But 4 days later I had a ticket to Denmark, so I left. Told everyone I knew to look out for you and take you in, so I could have you back. Or have you still. But.

I miss your lovely, thick, soft fur. The smell of you. The feeling of your cold nose on mine. The sound you make as you fall to sleep on my tummy (You always used me as a mattress when I lay on the sofa reading), the sound of your ears as you shake them, the look of you yawning, and stretching, the ways you had with my daughter as she grew from 0 to 2 and a half years old...
I could go on and on.

Pyjamas. With the white chest,stomach,throat. And paws.
With the amazing Davy Crocket tail. The very pink nose.
The darker "wood cat M" on your forehead,as your mother was a Norwegian wood cat.

I love you. So much. And I miss you so badly.
The trance medium said I will meet with you again, in an other incarnation,later.
Whatever that means.
I just wish I could have 5 minutes with your paws around my neck, looking into your yellow eyes, hearing your purr, filling my world with the smell of you.

Who says sorrow is smaller when one loses a non human?
And why should it be. Life is life. Love is love.
I just hope you are dead and happy, not suffering.
That you have peace and joy.
My dear Pyjamas.